Lock Down This Rock!! S4, E13!

An irregular review series of choice Hawaii 5-0 episodes

Air Cargo – Is This Any Way to Run a Paradise?
Essential-meter: 8/10

What does Steve McGarrett like more than getting whipped up into a storm of righteous indignation over a injustice? Getting worked up over TWO injustices. Ecoterrorism has come to the islands, and Steve gets to be angry at both vigilantes and industrialists. He has so much on his plate that he even is gracious enough to let Kono get a crack at a Very Important Speech.

Taking the identity of the Hawaiian God of war, the green crusader moves from “pranks” that win McGarrett’s begrudging respect, directly to a Dead Pool of rich people. Which McGarrett isn’t as thrilled about. Kahili leaves little tikis in gaudy gourds around to document his deeds. And in the end, it’s strongly implied that he immolates himself in the cane field (or spontaneous combustion?) like the buddhist monks protesting the Vietnam police action. Kono hurls the last tiki in the flames, because expressing ‘disgust’ is way out of his acting wheelhouse.

Awesome Moments:

  • McGarrett totally hits on an ornithologist that tells him that the feathers used on the tiki presents are from a super endangered bird with only 2 nests left. And having handed him this clue on a sliver platter, he does nothing with it!
  • Steve seemingly knows everyone on the island. When he walks into the natural history building, the director gives him a hearty welcome.
  • McGarrett is generally annoyed at hippies, and a running joke is that none of these pencil neck peacenicks could physically have pulled off these acts.
  • Man, them are some mighty fine posters.
  • You can further see McGarrett’s view of the ecological movement in a fake Kahili who wears a mu-mu, and turns himself in to “spread the word”. Get a load of this, Dano!

Lowering myself to *that* level

I know that posting outraged screeds on the innerwebz is the last refuge of the dregs of humanity, but god damn it, this latest season of Doctor Who is forcing my hand!

Don’t mean to spoiler anyone, but got damn it, I just watched an episode where they defeat Cybermen with love. I’m not kidding. They try to make a joke out of it, but THEY KILL CYBERMEN WITH LOVE! You know, the 5th Element. Grade: F. Dialog was pretty good, which is the only reason it didn’t get F-.

In order to get this steaming pile out of my mind, I immediately threw on the end of The Time Meddler. I’ve been making my way through the first Doctor. Hartnell, should he had materialized in the present day, would have bopped Moffat on the head with his walking stick for this episode. And clucked disapprovingly, hmmmmm?! And then killed the Cybermen with a glitter gun. As is proper.

Lock Down This Rock!! S4, E7

An irregular review series of choice Hawaii 5-0 episodes

“Air Cargo – Dial for Murder”
Essential-meter: 7.5/10

Shipping containers have never been so deadly. Crooked import agents (is there any other kind?), divert valuables, but in a twist, ANOTHER import/export guy has a sick wife. A valuable shipment of the very famous drug Glucogone goes missing, and wife dies. The Dead Wife Guy knows something is up, and gets 5-0 on the scene. But upon learning that they intend to use the law and justice to rectify the matter, DWG decides to go vigilante with a shipment of dynamite.

Awesome Moments:

  • James Hong makes anything better. I clapped when he came on scene as a doomed, weasel-y import/export partner. He looks like he might have had a pants accident when he learns that McGarrett might be on their trail.
  • Very Important Speech – McGarrett has no pity for the woman with the junkie daughter, who was paid to “lose” shipments. She tries to squirm her way out of the truth, but his hardline ‘NO DEALS!!” stance always breaks perps down.
  • McGarrett runs (!!), and hurls (!!) a bomb into the ocean in the nick of time. Because risking his life for vermin is the least an honest cop can do.
  • McGarrett uses mad phreaking skills to decode the hood’s technological web of crime. Even Che is impressed!

Hey, I’m being positive!

I totally held back on reporting my¬†devastatingly¬†disappointing lunch at a Portland landmark today, AND yesterday I totally didn’t post disparaging remarks about a local band’s choice in band photo. See, we’re not all doomed! Change is possible!



Plus Side: Saving the Earth!!

Okay, one day into my new bus pass, and I’m already completely regretting it.

I have a deep rooted distain for humanity. This is my problem. I freely admit it. One of my mandates is to try and shore up this bad attitude. For years, I’ve worked at looking at the bright side, polishing the more noble traits of humanity so I won’t die a crotchety misanthrope.

But all it takes is one fat bitch taking up two seats on a full bus DOING HER NAILS to pitch these years neatly in the nearest dustbin.

Addendum: sorry to be so cranky as of late. The sun hasn’t appeared in the Northwest since last November. I’ll post some 5-0 soon. Jack Lord always brings a little bit of fascist sun with him wherever he goes.